Posted by: jamesthethickheaded | September 22, 2012

From an Inept Voter to an Inept Campaign

I resist the temptation to get involved in politics as we are and thankfully remain a largely centrist nation where the divergences are more rhettorical than active – despite protests to the contrary from both sides. Fact is the protests simply prove the case that the country largely slumbers ignoring their so-called leaders until it awakens periodically to set the record(s) straight: “No… less like that; more like this.” Slumbering giants tend to be folks of few and simple words I think.

But as I’ve written before, I am an amazingly inept voter as I look at my record. I like to think I’m puzzling through the issues and making an informed decision, but let’s face it, not only do the candidates seem remarkably uninformed about the nature of the nation they seek to lead and the job of leading it, but if they’re clueless, how can I possibly be better? I’m not. Nor do I have the “wisdom of the people” or whatever that it is that a virtuous people are supposed to rely on in selection of their less able leaders. I voted for Reagan twice – which I guess says a lot about who I am. But I’ve voted for most other folks once. Some of those votes have been against the hubris or pig-headedness of the other side which of course presumes the side receiving my vote is better? Hardly. Problem I face is that I don’t really want to spend lots of time on this thing, and I find that once in office, whomever it is I’ve voted for tends to start annoying me. Fact is, I can scarcely bear to hear their voices without cringing. So I seem to have more “buyer’s remorse” than most.

This makes me about the most inept voter of all time. Right. So does anyone court my vote? Are you kidding? Like… why?

I will admit that I gave a $100 to the Obama campaign and voted for the guy last time. In that effort, I had to give my email to make the donation. Of course consistent with my inept voter bit, I didn’t want to get pestered for more contributions so I tried to skip the I.D. form when I made the donation. Nothing doing. For the past four years, Obama’s people… the dude himself and even sweet and stylish Michele… have emailed me time after time: “Dear First Name….”. And if you didn’t follow down this same path, you don’t know that the form had “First Name” as the default text you were supposed to replace with your actual name when you put the cursor there. Skipping over it, of course I remain, “First Name”. At first this was a bit amusing, but it quickly became tiresome. Annoying. Even… okay, embarassing. So I can’t even fill out a form right? There you are.

Well, Obama’s people have taken my mistake and upped the “ante”. They won’t let me off the list. I’ve done the “Unsubscribe” thing countless numbers of times and my guess is that was never actually connected. Or maybe it’s just my “First Name” doesn’t actually correspond to the name registered under my email address’s IP Address… so I look like an impostor. This is of course oddly similar to what my Aunt discovered in NYC after 9-11 when she was asked for her valid ID by her employer (NY Public School System) as they tried to comply with the initial rulings of the Patriot Act. Her issue was that she was divorced, so her last name no longer matched much. But her birth certificate turned out to have what we know as her middle name (though it’s what we call her: “Chen” as short for Chenoweth) though she’s always thought her first name was “Anne”.  Turns out her own Aunt told my grandmother, “You can’t call this tiny little thing by that long, long name. Her name is Anne.” And so it was ever after, but never changed. Years, decades and eons later, the hoops she went through were similar: First you don’t care, and then when you do, it’s doggone hard to fix. Thankfully, she’d already been employed for 10 years by the school system, so they said, “We think you’re who you say you are.” But imagine our undocumented alien’s kids who are now dealing with God knows what to go anywhere? Yeah. So that’s my issue with the Obama campaign… last time around and even though I’m not a Roman Catholic… I’m still stuck in Limbo. Odd analogy ain’t it? But it fits.

So take it from me, First Name, I’m an inept voter trying to pick between two inept candidates. Seeing this past week or two that lamester number two is doing his level best to drop out of the race, this morning, I looked up his campaign website and made a suggestion… basically, get your act together and “man-up”, run a competetive election and give us a choice. Not sayin’ I’m voting for the dude, just that I want a choice. Now take it from this lamester that it’s another measure of my pretense that it matters. How is my state voting? Done: It will vote Democratic. Well… so I like to pretend my vote matters… at least to me. And I like to think it matters to the other lamesters running for the job.

Here’s my text… not great, but it’s what I got and if you suddenly see ol’ Romney Toast looking a little less crumbly and burnt or like he’s just waiting for the butter knife to descend so the Jolly Green Giant can quench his breakfast stomach grumblings… then you’ll know that the suggestion combox really was hooked up to a couple of eager staffers sitting by just hoping someone would write in. First Name did, and now they’re off and running. “Hey… First Name… you know the guy who helped Mr. O over the top last time… yeah…  we just got our own memo from him… but sadly no bucks! Something to do with the Zillionaire expectations? Dunno. Anyway… now we can get busy!”

Yeah. That’s not happening. Only let’s put it this way, if Mr. Romney really is all that he thinks he is, maybe like Mr. Bloomberg, we can elect him and say, “Hey dude…  now that you’re minding the store, would you put a few bucks in the till? I’m thinking it’s getting hard to make change. More ways than one. Hey… don’t look at me… you wanted the job.” So there is that angle to think of on his behalf. Mr. O…. well, he’s sticking with the line he only $4 million for his two autobiographies and counting. And no one seriously thinks that’s gonna cover the gap. His smile helps…. zillion dollar smile by the way… when he remembers we like it and turns it on. And I do think that and a few words here and there kind of seem in his mind to be all we’re really expecting… and certainly all we’re gonna get there. But who knows? He’s promising, “I’ll be an all new me after the election.” Okay. I guess we’re done with the Hope and Change thing… even though I’m still hoping they’ll change my First Name to noname.

Anyway… here’s what Romney’s folks are working with… lame ideas from a lame brain  lamester… like me:

Read Peggy Noonan and Chris Caldwell. I’m a fellow who’d vote for you if you’d stop sloganizing and start articulating. Fine to have 35 point plans… but like Reagan, try to boil it down to one or two take-aways normal folks will actually understand. As Sandy Lewis (NYTimes interview) puts it: “Romney has a secret plan”. How can you run a 2nd campaign for president so ineptly against the weakest incumbent in modern history? I write because I think this election matters… not because it’s a historic choice, but because it’s time to level with the American people. They are waaaaay ahead of their so-called leaders and have been dealing with the hard choices for two decades. Give them credit. Level with them in return. Find the sunshine, but tell them how hard it will be to get there. And we will have to make unpopular hard choices to get there. But chiefly, stop being so lame that even folks who WANT to vote for you feel you have yet to ask for the job. I always vote for the guy who asks for the job… and typically only one does. Even Obama hasn’t done this. But he’s doing a better job in his campaign. Buck it up, ask for the job… don’t talk about the folks you don’t want to ask for the job… ask for it even from the guys who don’t like you. That’s what we need. You can ask for their vote, and if they can’t vote for you, you can at least ask for their support, their trust, and their hardwork together if you win. Please make this competitive… by starting with competing yourself! Thank you.

Now please note: This does not put me in the “Romney’s my guy!” column. I’ve half a mind (say the truth!) to vote for Mr. O… again. As Sandy Lewis says, at least he has experience… it may not be GOOD experience, but at least he can’t hide behind “just learning the job” anymore. I doubt he’ll be taken in by the same folks he was taken in last time. He might even get rid of the Bush people he oddly kept in place last time.  I mean, how do you blame your predecessor for the mess and escape blame for keeping on-post the folks who brought you the mess? Trust me, George Bush wasn’t involved in the private businesses, the banks or the Federal agencies that ignored their jobs. I don’t like old Bushy, but he didn’t make this mess… we all did over a two-generation process of equating citizenship with consumerism and a whole host of other isms. But that’s a different story.

And thank you for reading yet another piece that does not begin to delve into issues frothing through our beloved but apparently unloved OCA. Talk about inept voters and inept campaigns… well… actually… let’s not. So that’s why we cover this stuff, huh? ‘Nuff said.


  1. It’s not you.

    I won’t vote for a crook, and they’re both crooked.

  2. You do realize that there are other candidates besides the nominees of the two major parties, correct? So, why feel you MUST vote for one of them?

    BTW, I have no sympathy for you that you cast a vote for Obama and regret it. You knew what you were getting.

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