Posted by: jamesthethickheaded | April 25, 2011

Pascha, my Pascha

Amazing.

Every year, it seems Pascha is forever coming – and then suddenly it’s here. This year was no exception. And the speed of Lent seemed to drive across me as ever – with all my “changes”, all my resolves – somehow unmet. Did I get all those Lenten readings read? No. Did I change behaviors I wanted to? No, not that either. Did I newly open my eyes to my old problems? Some, perhaps.. mostly it was like I was squinting in the stark sunshine. But did I then take up a new-found cross here and there? Perhaps in some small measure, but not well. Dropped it, too. Did I open my heart? Ah…. So just how IS the weather in Omaha these days? I guess there is simply no getting ready, really ready, for Pascha in time. Obviously…. it transcends time, but evidently I do not; more than likely I just roll under time’s bus.

Fortunately, there is next year… and maybe next year’s bus tire will have fewer lumps, new inflations here and there and yet make rolling under the bus a little more comfortable. Perhaps the least I can do is to spend more time waiting for the bus over on Tempur-pedic Street.

Ah, but this year was yet a journey like no other, and worthy of the joys that only silence can speak. My hope would be that your Pascha was as full as well. Maybe it’s easy to be full when the large coffee pot of Life itself pours its breath and being into the small demitasse-size cup that constitutes this vessel, but you gotta start somewhere.

And maybe in turn when someone says, “How/Why do you do all those hours and hours of services? Won’t it be good to get back to normal?”… maybe I’ll hesitate for a moment, and even answer, “No, it was great. And y’know it makes you realize this giving thanks and singing praises is the essence of what’s normal… as is the celebration of Christ’s triumph over death in our lives should be normal. But instead we accept so much less of and for ourselves, and so of course I’ll miss it, and you’ll miss it, too – even if you aren’t or weren’t thinking of Pascha.” And so the truth is that I will miss it, and think these thoughts when I can remember them, but in all courtesy I know I’ll hesitate to say them more than here for fear of stepping on someone’s toes… huh? So maybe, maybe not.  🙂

But at least for my part, not blogging all that much in the passing weeks or at least not on the matters that seem most central is not indicative of a lack of something going on, but instead its opposite. Only these days, I am less and less certain there is contribution in what passes between one lobe and another on its way to the keyboard. Maybe it hasn’t stopped me before, but perhaps that’s been one of the “changes” of this past season. Again, maybe, and maybe not. All I can say for now is that I’m on the look-out for the bus that sometimes passes by here.

May  the Joy of the Lord who rose from the dead, defeating death by death, and bestowing life upon those in the tombs be with you now and forever more! Christ is risen!


Responses

  1. Joy to you brother. Indeed, He IS Risen!

  2. Christ is risen!

  3. He is risen indeed!
    I’m glad you did write a post-Pascha post, because this one came from the heart, maybe bypassing the lobes of the brain altogether, eh?
    I love what you wrote about all the services that we will miss…yes! they are the true normal. For this reason I come to love Lent, and then I love Bright Week, and I will be a little sad when we get to Pentecost, knowing I won’t be able to keep the same joy afterward.
    And it’s not because I did so great at Lent…you described that well…actually, the whole post just says a lot of how I feel, maybe how most of us feel. Thank you!

    • GretchenJoanna: Thank you for visiting. It’s odd that those parts that I treasure are probably those I shouldn’t, and all those failures that are supposed to inspire… and often do, oddly will in the end be the more useful. I wonder that at the end of the day it isn’t more the inverse of the Yoda “there is no try”… in that it’s more that “There is no failure, no success either… only confusion as to which is which.”


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