Posted by: jamesthethickheaded | February 28, 2011

Darling Daughter

So as the buds return to their trees, and the buddies return to their parents homes… we’re looking forward to a few days with darling daughter. She of the strong independent, competitive streak… she of the many, many brains that have all the answers, she of the head of steel, she of the goofy dances and whacked sense of humor. Honestly, I don’t know where she gets it. Must have fallen out of the sky somewhere when the stork dropped her off. But we love her and can’t wait to pick her up at the airport tomorrow night – late as it will be.

It’s funny how things turn out. You never know what to expect from these children. I know mine are grown, and yet it wasn’t so long they were lying on the changing table with Dad trying to figure out this whole diaper thing and wondering why I’d always cut grass for bucks instead of babysitting for easier bucks and learning something practical… but then I slapped myself silly a few times and said, “Not manly.” Yeah… but it sure would’ve helped. And then mom’s just have this sixth sense, like reading books about child raising. Duh. I saw “Babies”. They even do this in Japan. But not once did you see a Dad doing this. I think the idea is filed somewhere in the glove compartment suggestion box… right next to the map.

And do they even write books on doing Dad-like things? Nah. Nothing like “500 Ways to Embarass Your Kid”. Chapter headings of course would vary: For girls, there’d be lots of chapters on what you wear – mostly what you shouldn’t. Mostly, everything that was cool now isn’t, and it starts with socks. And with boys it would be all sorts of stats about something that used to be only nerds did, but now it’s cool and maybe even a sport… and you can’t even play like Jimmy Hendrix anyway… even if you do look like him in the morning when your hair’s still standing up… back when you had hair. And both boys and girls would of course have different lists of what not to say. But it’s only the details that differ. Basically big picture: “You’re wrong.” Okay. Got it. Power of the purse used to count for something, but now thanks to feminism I guess, Mom’s seem to funnel all the cash-o-la, too.

“Oh yeah? I’m cutting your allowance. Whaddya get these days?”
“Mom gives me$20 every five minutes.”
“Really? Wow. I don’t make that… hmmm…. well… now it’s half that.”


Basically, when it comes to coolness, cool and parent are antonyms. So forget it. And as parents, we never seem to have escaped what the older generation used to tell us when we were young: “Better seen and not heard”, only now it’s more like “Not seen and not heard”… until the police come.  Yeah, there’s a friend of mine who wanted his kids to become CIA agents, and let his kids go wild so the neighbors would get riled and call the cops, teaching his kids the life skills of how to deal with “the man” when they came. He seemed to think this was good training for thinking on your feet under pressure. Uh huh. And amazingly enough it worked, and if I tell you more, he’d have to kill me.


The Young'uns

So of course I wonder what James Bond’s parents were like. More specifically… what about his Dad? Was he like old man Kennedy and trading names, numbers with the boys and snaking their girlfriends? or what?

All Grow'd up 'n' all


But all that shows is that somewhere there is a Dad manual. Only I didn’t get a copy… which is why I became Orthodox… so I could repent of my behavior while glorifying in my progeny.  I do love them. Even if I will probably end up with more reasons to repent in a few days. But until then, I’m living the fantasy and looking forward to it.


  1. It’s nothing short of miraculous that my kids turned out to be the decent adults they are with me as their mother. God took pity on them and sent them their father to mitigate all my errors. Glory to Him!

    Your kids are adorable by the way!

  2. There is nothing like daddies and daughters. It is such a blessing that our kids actually visit after we’ve embarrassed them to death when they were 14. 🙂

  3. S-P:

    …and 15, 16, 17, and 18… not to mention every other opportunity. And we weren’t even trying!

    Athanasia: Yeah, know what you mean: It’s amazing mine didn’t turn out axe murderers or in the looney bin… at least that’s what they tell me.

    And thank you! Darling Daughter once said, “I wish I could rewind my head”… a phrase that has always stuck. We’d very much like to be able to do like Sherman and Mr. Peabody and go through the Way-Back Machine to pick them up and hug them over and over again. And you miss the wonderful games we used to play. They may have outgrown them, but we didn’t.

  4. I’d like a chance in the Way-Back Machine too. Enjoy this time with your daughter.

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