Posted by: jamesthethickheaded | November 6, 2008

Harold the Unready

Okay. So Harold the Unready was this guy. Like he was long ago. So long ago they didn’t know his last name and just named him after his state of mind. They didn’t mind much at the time, but Harold kind of let it get under his skin that his brother Bob had a last name “All Right All Ready”. I mean, where do you go with that? Of course, you Act Up. Only back then it wasn’t a “Movement”… it just meant you did the teenage thing… ‘cuz, well… with wars, disease and other sorts of entertainment they had before television… you didn’t live much beyond twenty-something anyway. So everybody was unready for whatever, and Harold most of all.

But that’s not saying Harold was all that happy with this. He was thinking he probably wasn’t that kind of guy… just one of the folks. No, Harold wanted to be a somebody… something special. Skipped the school part… ‘cuz, well they didnt have much in the way of school back then… and he skipped the shoes part… ‘cuz sandals and barefeet were what you wore then. No… Harold wanted to be somebody who wasn’t unready like everyone else.. he kind of thought he wanted to be Super Ready… whatever that meant.

And since he didn’t know, Harold hired an agent, wiseman, or wise guy as they called them at the time. Agent Al said, “Harold, what you need is a new schtick. No it’s not a razor… so don’t get hyped ’bout the beard yet… but change, man… that’s your program. Fact is… we’re gonna make you a Change Agent.” Harold had seen all those illuminated manuscript programs – the PowerPoints of the day – and he knew. “Al’s on to something.”

So Harold listened. Then Al brought out the new idea: “Trumpets.” At least it wasn’t one of those stringy things with the hairy stick that sounded like… well we won’t go there. “And you’re gonna wear your hair in a bowl cut… and be in all-boy four piece band.” Weird thought Harold, but let’s see where he’s going with this. “And we’re gonna hang flags from the necks of these real long skinny trumpets.” Cool. Harold liked flags. Reminded him of Naschariot.

So Harold and the Boys started puckering… a skill they enjoyed practicing with their girl groupies in a slightly different venue… but one they nevertheless managed to perfect quite happily. And they pushed air through these puckerings like a congressman… and before you know it, when boofer hit brass… there was a blast heard round the world. And Harold and the Boys were the rock stars of the Recorder era – an era none of us seem to miss somehow. And their fame spread so far and wide that before anyone could spell Nebacannotnaysirorwhatever, their band was memorialized throughout the world in cartoons. And so Harold the Unready became “The Herald”… and some even Harken to this day..  but that’s a story to sail into another time.

For now, let us just Herald a new day… a new generation… and the passing of much that has ailed this great nation since the 1960’s. Those were great times, they were sad times, and they were divisive times too dismissive and too long ago. They are now gone perhaps at last. And as the nation moves on, perhaps we will see a new generation take up and address much that has long passed as irresolvable, irreconcilable and irrelevant. Maybe a generation that hasn’t fought each other and its forebears from the git-go can do what we could not. This would be my hope for my children and those yet to come.  And while there may be much that goes against my grain, there may equally be much that I know needs doing and these folks will do their best. I will remember that I am but one grain of sand and try not to grind in the works.  I am resolved to say “Goodmorning” rather than  let these things become an irritant to one or all when the time comes… but it may not prove easy as these indeed are tough times.. but have at it, my dear friends. Work your best. And may  God speed.


  1. Hey, is that the Harold with the Purple Crayon?

  2. No. I loved Harold and the Purple Crayon.. which was one of the first books I ever bought as a kid. Used to pronounce it “cran-yon” for some reason. I guess I wasn’t such a good reader.

    No, this is my fogged over brain blending Ethelred the Unready together with his successor… Harold the Confessor a.k.a. Harold the Oops-I’m-Full-of-Arrows. These were the penultimate and last of the pre-Plantaginet kings of England… which doesn’t say much for the line. Guess it was something more like a dotted line or a stripe.

  3. You are unbelievably creative! Have you ever thought of writing children’s books? I bet your kids get the best bedtime stories in the world.

    And…you are right 100%. Let’s get at it and pull together instead of pushing apart.

  4. Thanks….but in all truth, I’m lame… and you are much too kind.
    I like pulling together, though… but how is the issue. Even our small Church can’t seem to figure this one out.

  5. Wow, such deep roots, which shoot straight through to the ’60’s. Cool.

    I’m with you on the idea that maybe the 60’s are finally dying out and we need to see what this new generation is about. Not that they aren’t anti-tradition either, but maybe not so violently so. And with less anger, maybe they’ll appreciate some of the good traditions.

  6. Right on man. Dude, you must be old to hang with the Plantaginets! I was kind of like, you know, like digging on that Cromwell dude. He was really anti-establishment.

    I’m teasin’ ya. Well done.

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