So I tried a Facebook page. Ha! What a hoot that is. Makes me think of how things must have gone when they were first putting mail slots in:
” ’scuse me, bub… would ya’ mind if I sawed a hole in your front door? Y’know it’s the latest.”
“My front door? Put a hole in it? Why’d anyone want you to do that?”
“Normally, it’s so’s we can let the bees in… But for you I gotta special. For you… I got the best hole-in-the-door… it’s one people come by and drop things into your house through a hole. I’m thinkin’ for you… we’ll be lucky and it’ll be some sort of bomb…”
“Huh? I’m afraid I got stuck on that part about the bees…”
“Nah. Got that covered… literally. I mean we put this hinged sheet of metal on it. Tight, man. No bees… only the good stuff. Bombs …if we’re lucky.”
“M-kay if you say so. What kind of good stuff we really talkin’ about?”
“Y’know… notes from your friends, photos of their kids, bills, junk mail… the whole she-bang.”
“Junk mail and bills? Great… I mean if it was just notes and photos.. and a few bombs here and there… I’d say… sheesh… who wants that?”
“Yeah… there’s always a darkside… but at least no fruit cakes other than you…. and then all the rest… just comes with it.”
“And drop dead notices from the IRS, too?”
“Nah… for those you need a subscription or something. Ask the guy down the street with the potato in his tailpipe. You want this thing high in the middle or at the bottom?”
“How low can you go?”
“Feets don’t fool me now… how’s that fit?”
“Done. Dude, that was sweet. And at last… I’m with it. Git me some shoes… maybe I can be somebody.”
“Nah… I’d say you’re more like a target.. actually.”
So I got myself a new mail slot… they call it a Facebook page. No, you don’t want to go there. Even I don’t want to go there. Tell you why: It was of course an immediate hit with the kids. Yep. Went something like this:
“What’re you doin’ on FB?”
“I don’t know. Followed this link to friend’s photos.. and here I am.”
“Couldn’t they have just emailed them to you?”
“I guess…. but then they’d have to email them to everyone… and y’know that’s a real hassle. Files get too big to email, IP’s get upset, everything gets put in the spaminator… and first thing y’know… nobody gets anything and you’re feeling anti-social…”
“Not half as much as… uh… y’know I’m not friending you.”
“Sure, that’s okay. I can digg it.”
“And I’m locking up all my stuff from you, too.”
“Y’know… I’m r-e-a-l-l-y not interested in that.”
“Right. You know and I know… this is really jus’ you wanting to see my stuff.”
“Y’know… there’s something like 175 million people on this thing? I don’t think I’m going to be spending that much time trying to learn about someone (you) I already know pretty doggone well. I mean seriously… ain’t a lot of secrets there I don’t I already know. Want to run through the list?”
“No.”
“Okay… and for the record… the stuff I don’t know… I’d be happy keeping that way… but somehow you’ll leave it out for me like something the cat dragged in.”
“We don’t have a cat.”
“I’ve always thought cats are best when they’re rhettorical.”
“And you know you DO wanna see it.”
“No… fact is… I’ was 20…. once…and that was enough.”
“That’s right… forgot you starred in Land of the Lost. Weren’t you the Raptor?”
“Gas was cheap when you could throw a dinosaur in the tank.But I never understood what Esso was thinkin’ with the tiger…”
“Sure… whatever…there… now I’m all set for maximum encryption.”
“Oh… an’ I’m feelin’ the love…”
Yeah… so this is a move getting rave reviews around the house. Including… and especially from me.
And that’s the truth. The way things are these days, I have a business web page, a blog, and now a FB. I’ve been over at OC, I’m on Lync.net, I’m on Reunion… which has morphed into something else like “MyLife” in the last day or two… and I’m wondering what ’s all this buzz about Twitter. No I”m not asking for all this stuff. I rarely even check it once I set it up. Even forget my logons and passwords. And then just when you think you’re “done”, a friend or a client sends one of these “invitation” things to some new network at you. What are you gonna do? “Just say no?” Those sorts of campaigns tend toward the ex… as in ex-friend, ex-client, etc.
So I keep getting dragged into and onto these things against my will. It’s like the Leviathan’s at the other end. We have all these places… all these media… and all these networks to keep up with. I mean… is it just me… or does it seem like someone is literally trying to suck all the life out of our real live human relationships and replace them with “virtual” people we hardly know? Yeah, sure, they’re great people. But have we “met” them… or only encountered them on-line? Give me the flesh and blood…. warts and all… it’s a reality I can manage… maybe not well.. but at least I won’t get confused…. or if I do… at least it only takes half the time to get and stay there.
So I’m thinking there’s a reason our Church communes us in the physcial flesh and blood… and it’s starting to look like a very good one. We should not lose the message, not lose the meaning, and not lose the flesh and blood reality of our lives while we can still hang on to it.
Okay… the rant-o–meter’s reset to off. Thank you.
jamesthethickheaded